Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
