Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
