I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
