i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
