The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
