Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
