so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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