I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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