I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I've blown a few things in my day
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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