physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
