his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
