Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
