I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
