he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
