what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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