Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
