she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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