Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
