Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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