Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
