Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
