yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
we're chasing vodka with high fives
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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