Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
