I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
