Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
