He uses pillows to masturbate.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
