She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
