also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
what day is it and did you see me today?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
love makes seman taste better
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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