am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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