How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
