i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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