I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
