I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
