she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
