is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
