that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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