Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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