im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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