The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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