Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
