U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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