Your mouth is God's brothel.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
