Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
