I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
