I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I woke up under a house in Key West
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
