I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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