i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
