as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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