I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
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