I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
