Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
