It's Friday. Sex?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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