New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
