you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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